Deadly Chakilas

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting… on a Saturday morning… after breakfast…

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So – what is the problem? We all use our work telephones!

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old, someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room reading the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up. Then she said, (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”

A teenage boy managed to persuade his dad to loan him his car.
He takes his gorgeous blond girlfriend out for a drive.
He parks it in a dark, leafy lane and they start kissing and cuddling in the front seat.

After a while he is getting passionate and says, “How about you hop into the back seat.”
“No” she protests.

They continue to kiss and cuddle and he is getting even more passionate and he is even keener to get her in the back seat.

“Don’t you think it is time to hop into the back seat?” he asks her again.
“No, I have told you I don’t want to go” she protests again.

Again they kiss and cuddle and his passion is even stronger and he is desperate to get her in the back seat.
He begs her to go into the back seat.
“No, I’ve told you I don’t want to go” she protests again.

“But why not?” he asks.

“I want to stay here in the front seat, with you!”

A kid asks his father for help on a writing assignment. “Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”

His father looks up thoughtfully and says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you’ve learned.”

The kid is puzzled, but asks his mother. “Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?”

“Don’t tell your father, but, yes, I would.”

He then goes to his sister’s room. “Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?”

She replies, “Omigod! Definitely!”

The kid goes back to his father. “Dad, I think I’ve figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on $2 million bucks, but in reality, we’re living with two sluts.”