Deadly Chakilas

Interviewer: Which is the fastest thing in the world?

Yale Guy: Its light, nothing can travel faster than light

Harvard Guy: It’s the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in

your mind.

Mit Guy: Its Blink, you can blink and it’s hard to realize you blinked

Santa Singh: Its Loose Motion

Interviewer: (Shocked to hear Santa’s reply, asked) “WHY”?

Santa Singh: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

It was October, and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. He had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like. To be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”

“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again. “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”

“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “it’s going to be a very cold winter.” The Chief again ordered his people to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again.

“Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”

“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”

“How can you be so sure?” the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

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Because F= ma (Newton’s Second Law )

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. Socho? kyu?.. ???
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Because UTI bank is now Axis bank. Shruti — Shraxis

The Secretary of Defense is briefing President Bush on Iraq. “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“Oh no!” exclaims the president, “That’s terrible!”

His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.

Finally, he looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

A short love story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they  were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in  the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?

I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,” she replied “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”

“Wow!……. ……… …… That’s a great idea!”, he exclaimed.

“Good,” she replied. ………… . “Then get your own bloody blanket.”

Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab?

Santa: Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.