Feb
24
2009
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit $200 million.”
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
no comments | tags: Woman | posted in Jokes [respectable ones]
Feb
7
2009
The patient said, “Give me the good news.”
“They’re going to name a disease after you.“
no comments | tags: Bad News, Disease, Doctor, Good News, Patient | posted in Jokes [respectable ones]
Feb
7
2009
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work for a chat.
“I’m sorry dear,” said Bill, “but I’m up to my neck in work today. I don’t have time to chat.”
Sally replied, “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, dear.”
“OK darling,” said Bill, “but as I’ve got no time right now, just give me the good news.”
“Okay,” agreed Sally. “Well, the air bag works!“
no comments | tags: Bad News, Good News, Husband | posted in Jokes [respectable ones]
Feb
7
2009
After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and hot chocolate and resigned herself to an evening of TV.
No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV when her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and gasped, “I’m two hours late and you’re still not ready?”
no comments | tags: Date | posted in Jokes [respectable ones]